


Moving On

by rosemari_00



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-02-22
Packaged: 2018-03-14 12:25:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3410555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosemari_00/pseuds/rosemari_00
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU in which the Titans are a terrorist group whose efforts have been the cause of countless tragedies and deaths.<br/>Jean is no stranger to death. He hasn't been the same since Marco was taken from him. There's no hope for him anymore, he knows it and he doesn't care. The thought of getting over what happened disgusts him. However, fate, the asshole, has another plan in mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving On

"Since we have a new member joining us today, how about we start off with introductions?" Eric Hannigan's breezy voice sounded even more annoying when asking such a guided question. How wonderful, Jean thought, glancing at all the eyes that turned towards him. Now came the standard AA greetings he’d been looking forward to: Hi, my name is Jean, I'm twenty-one, and I've been an emotional piece of shit since June.

"Hanna,” Eric gestured his sickeningly manicured fingers at a tiny brunette across from him in the circle. “Why don’t you start?”

She looked startled, at first, but after a moment, Eric’s greasy smile seemed to give her comfort. Jean couldn't see how that was possible. The man looked like he'd needed braces since seventh grade, and his crinkly eyes drooped against the dust-colored skin of his cheeks when he grinned.

"Ah, yes, of course..!" the girl stammered, still fiddling with her floral dress. Her thin, languid hands pulled at the fabric. With a hint of discomfort, Jean finally turned to meet her eyes. His gaze was quickly avoided, however; the girl stared at her feet. She looked young, and probably pretty, but more than anything, worn. Her dark skin was lined with an age that she had yet to greet, and her eyes were too old and full of pain for her youth. Jean felt a hint of nausea looking at her. He had a feeling that she had had the same reaction upon seeing him.

The girl stood up, looking at any place other than Jean, and as she did all eyes turned to her. This only seemed to make her more nervous. "My name is Hanna," she began, her voice as tiny as her stature. "I'm, um... I'm nineteen years old, and I live in Karanese now. I've worked as a hostess at Barney's for six months..." As she spoke, Eric Hannigan nodded, his irritating presence somehow managing to reassure her.  “... and when I was… when I was fifteen, my boyfriend lost his life in the Shiganshina attack. It's, um... it's been a little over four years since then, as you all know, and, well, I, uh... I’ve been with this group for one month on Sunday."

She finished, quietly, and sat down again.

How long did she say?

She lost her boyfriend four years ago, and she still went to support groups? Not only that, but she’s only been with this one for a month?

Jean wondered if this was nothing but a horrid glimpse at his own future.

After a pause, Eric Hannigan's greasy smile seemed to grow ten times bigger. He leaned back in his metal chair, and clapped gently in his palm. If he wasn’t already disgusted with the guy, Jean surely would’ve been now. The rest of the group followed shortly after, their quiet applause echoing around the gym walls, and making the room seem all that much colder.

This was why he never wanted to go to these things. How can you sit, so contentedly, and applaud that? How can you hear that, person after person, without wanting to escape all the god forsaken unfairness in this world? That girl didn’t deserve to lose her boyfriend, no more than he deserved to lose his life. Eric, and all of his disciples, congratulated Hanna on her courage, her good performance and the sharing of her tragedy.

Why should she have to perform for them?

Why did he have to hear that?

"My name is Armin."

Abruptly, a new voice pulled Jean from his inattention.

"I'm twenty years old,” he said. Unlike Hanna, this guy looked a hell of a lot more composed, and confident. “I’ve been working at the docks building ships for the military for around a year and half now. I live in Shiganshina, I have ever since I was little. I was 18 when I lost my lover. It’ll be two years on the 15th, and I’ve been with this group almost the whole time since.”

Armin’s eyes never once left Jean’s, and nothing in their cloudless, German color seemed to falter. It was eerie.

That was the first time he ever met Armin.

A new kind of sickness hit him in the stomach when a small smile was offered from the kid’s frail lips.

In another life, maybe Jean would’ve thought Armin was cute, because of that. But all it did was drain Jean’s stamina for fighting back. The noise of the rest of the group introducing themselves filled the back of his mind until it was his turn to speak. His hands drooped lifelessly around his waist as he stood. Just one meeting, he thought, looking around at the empty faces. Just one to get his mom off his back. Just one more.

“My name’s Jean,”

Just one more time.

“I’m twenty-one,”

Tell the story, one more time.

“And the person I love was murdered last June.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, man, I don't even know? I was gonna post this like a year ago but a stuck up author I looked up to made me feel like a bag of rocks and I never did? Now it's almost too late, but rereading it I really liked it, so I decided to post it anyway. I am not sure when, or even if, I'll continue this. I want to, so I guess we'll have to see how it goes. Thank you for your support, and I hope you enjoyed!


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